Joy Emerges

The holiday season is the perfect time to be reminded that joy emerges.

I’ve spoken a lot over the last year about grief, my enormous grief over losing friends and loved ones, too many and too young. And we all share grief and anxiety, both individually and collectively in regard to the state of democracy under siege here in the USA and around the world, the global climate peril, economic inequality, social injustice, healthcare – the list goes on.

I used to say, “happiness is a choice”. Now I say joy emerges. I’m actually saying the same thing, but my language has evolved, grown up.

From my 2010 blog, ‘Is Happiness a Choice?’

“I think happiness IS a choice. … JOY is the deep abiding serenity and poise we experience when we are grounded in our willingness to know the good that we have and that we are, to know the Universe’s power for good.” https://revsandrabargman.wordpress.com/is-happiness-really-a-choice/

The holiday season used to be so full of excitement for me. My Mother adored the holiday season and created memorable gatherings on both Thanksgiving and Christmas, rich with traditions, rituals and recipes I brought into my adult life. When she passed away in 2006 my enthusiasm for the season melted away and my growing annoyance with the consumerism of it took root. Alongside of that, my understanding of history, the true beginnings of Thanksgiving, the slaughter of the First Nations peoples weighed heavy on my heart. Staying focused on gratitude and the light returning felt more elusive as time marched on.

Thankfully, I persevered. I have learned through hard work, deep internal work that I can not dismiss my grief. I can’t run from it, medicate it or wish it away. But I can allow it to transform me. By staying present to the tension of the paradox of the season, of both grief and joy, I can allow fresh moments of joy to emerge, and create new rituals and simpler traditions that reflect my understanding of this time in my life. I can give thanks for what IS, what fills my heart with goodness, and I can take action to change the things that weigh heavily on my heart. All of these choices bring me joy.

Below is a poem that I recently discovered, making its way around social media, which powerfully reflects my experience with JOY.

JOY by Donna Ashworth

Joy does not arrive with a fanfare,

on a red carpet strewn with the flowers of a perfect life.

Joy sneaks in, as you pour a cup of coffee,

watching the sun hit your favourite tree, just right.

And you usher joy away,

because you are not ready for it.

Your house is not as it must be,

for such a distinguished guest.

But joy cares nothing for your messy home,

or your bank-balance,