Is the “High Road” Always the Road to Take?
The other morning, I was talking with a friend who shared with me that her boss had thrown her under the bus. My friend, who had handled a difficult work situation as her boss had instructed her to do, was now under harsh scrutiny within her company, and she was struggling with taking the high road.
I was livid on her behalf, begging her to speak up for herself. I had seen her do this time and again, her boss always deflecting his involvement, taking no responsibility as a leader, and faithfully keeping his breezy reputation intact, as he allowed others to take blame.
Finally, I said, “speaking the TRUTH is taking the high road”.
Wow. Did I say that?
What is the high road?
Taking the high road means choosing a path or making a decision that is morally acceptable or positive and won’t hurt other people in the process.
It is making the CHOICE to let go of the need to be right by releasing any judgment, resentment or blame that someone is wrong or has done something “bad”.
But when is the choice to “take the high road” just a way to avoid confrontation, to avoid negotiation? When is taking the high road synonymous with people pleasing?
Women, in particular, who “take the high road” are glorified in patriarchal society for maintaining the self-control to walk away from a confrontation. I have come to the opinion there is a time to walk away and a time to take a stand.
How many times have I avoided speaking my truth and chosen to “take the high road” when I had been wronged because I didn’t want to experience ridicule, conflict, or anger.
I’m a great taker of the high road. Higher ground offers inner peace and self-respect. I am the one who must live with the consequences of any low-road behavior, and I’m always aware that two wrongs do not make a right. I know that I am “bigger than that”.
Playing big, however, can include speaking up for myself and telling the truth about my participation in any scenario. Being big doesn’t mean that we need to roll over to false or incomplete truths, all in the spirit of keeping the peace.
We always have the choice.
